memory game

backward or forward or both. what you said to me this morning. how we wore each others lids throughout the day. elevation and pretty songs. lines above, by your side. teenage games never played. color coordination with new species and our cold weather digs. we were each others chairs.

days go by

take offs. taking clothes off. taking risks. taking someone by the hand. wearing tears, losing focus. i got so emotional baby, every time i thought of you. i took deep breaths, i took liberties. got schooled in chemistry/nearly killed by chemistry. tell everybody now. a long time ago honey, i made a big mistake.time/travel. counting the amount of letters is a silly game. one of the many i played. daydreaming my days away. trying not to care, trying to sit still. staying up late again. breaking away from what was there. letting it go, getting it on. it took too long, but usually happened really fast. the living, that is. how i longed to be tied up and sent off. there was a pause. then an exclamation point. flowers, poetry, bedtime stories. then it was the reading and speeding (into things) that got me into trouble. i slowly began to fall apart. oh, but i thought i was being so smart! alas, more exclamations! and then elipses....back and forth, in my head, in my heart. i felt heat, i felt hurt. things don't just stop-they just change. and sometimes i just wanted to stop and sometimes i never wanted it to stop, and sometimes i couldn't stop it. we told our childhood secrets. i kept some to myself. but i do like to see boys naked! that's no secret. "it's called 'auto-pilot', it happens to me nonstop". danger danger bobbie robinson. the problem was that i saw the red flags, but they attracted me rather than hindered me.





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being nice is important when underlined twice.
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things may shift during the flight. they did.the two persons grasp the blanket with their hands just below holding slight. i tried to put myself in the corner for time out, but nobody puts bobbie in the corner. got some wounds. necessary to stop your fingertips sometimes. dislocation. disconnection. overcorrection. distance transfer (still working on this). keeping things to yourself, keeping things you don't need. all of the time...please hold on. i like knowing when the time is right and feeling it as the winds caress me in the night. knowing a new season is around the corner, ready to envelop me with its changes. it wasn't strange to see you. even when it was just a little bit. mostly it was nice. the late summer night sky, wine in a floral teacup, listening to music while sitting next to a pretty girl on the floor, imagining possibilities. i do not understand my own resistance. robert said, "keep saying these crazy things out loud!" i don't think i have a choice, but that is all for now-for the absence of words in the past year. in place of all of my days. a summary, a labyrinth.